"Just Call Me Goldilocks": A Lesson in Team Temperatures

The other day, my husband Kenny and I were out of town for a little getaway, and something funny happened that sparked a great business analogy. Now, I’m someone who is always freezing in hotel rooms—seriously, I think some AC systems are designed by polar bears. But this trip was different. It was HOT outside—mid to high 90s kind of hot—and the room was somehow alternating between freezing cold and melting hot. I kept saying, “It’s so cold. No, wait, it’s so hot!” on repeat like a confused thermostat.

Kenny, who is used to my constant weather adjustment, finally looked at me and said, “You just can’t meet in the middle, can you? You’re either really cold or really hot.” Without missing a beat, I laughed and said, “Just call me Goldilocks!”

And then I thought… oh wow, isn’t that exactly how it is in business and with our teams?

The Cold Ones, the Hot Ones, and the “Just Rights”

In every organization—whether you’re running a Chamber, leading a business team, or managing a nonprofit—there are team members with different “temperatures.” And I’m not talking about body heat or how many sweaters they wear. I’m talking about energy, engagement, communication styles, and their general vibe in the workplace.

Let’s break it down:

1. The Cold Ones
These team members often come across as disengaged, withdrawn, or maybe even negative. They don’t offer ideas in meetings, avoid conflict (or stir it up with passive resistance), and often say things like “We’ve always done it this way,” or “That won’t work.”

They’re not bad people—far from it. Sometimes they’re burned out. Sometimes they feel unheard. And sometimes they just don’t know how to turn up the temperature on their own contributions. But in the wrong setting, that cold energy can send chills through the entire team.

2. The Hot Ones
These are your go-getters. Your passionate, driven, opinionated movers and shakers. They walk fast, talk fast, and think even faster. They might dominate the room if you let them, and they often have bold ideas and strong reactions.

They bring heat—and that’s not a bad thing! But left unchecked, they can burn others out. Sometimes their intensity is intimidating to quieter team members. Sometimes their passion turns into frustration. But when channeled well, they’re the spark that ignites innovation and progress.

3. The “Just Right” Ones
Then there are the “Goldilocks” team members—those who sit right in the middle. They're calm, steady, and consistent. They keep the peace, manage change well, and serve as the glue between the hot and cold ends of the spectrum.

They don’t seek the spotlight, but they’re usually the ones making sure the project gets done, the email gets sent, and the team doesn’t fall apart. They’re balanced and reliable—often the unsung heroes of the workplace.

So… Who Are You?

If we’re being honest, we all shift between these roles depending on the situation. I know I’ve been “hot” in a meeting when I’m passionate about an idea, and I’ve definitely been “cold” when I’ve felt overwhelmed or out of alignment. But in most cases, I want to be that Goldilocks leader—the one who brings balance, warmth, and a sense of calm clarity.

And as leaders, it’s our job to:
- Recognize the temperature in the room
- Adjust the thermostat when needed
- And create an environment where every team member—hot, cold, or in between—can thrive

How to Lead a Team with Mixed Temperatures

1. Acknowledge Different Styles
Don’t try to make everyone the same. That hot team member might be exactly what you need to push a new initiative forward. The cold one might be your best editor, detail-checker, or risk-spotter. And your “just right” people might be quietly keeping everything afloat. Appreciate each one for what they bring.

2. Give Everyone a Voice
Make space for the cold ones to warm up. Use small group discussions, one-on-one check-ins, or CliftonStrengths coaching to help them find their place. Help the hot ones channel their passion into solutions, not just complaints. And don’t forget to celebrate the “just right” ones—too often, we assume they’re fine because they’re not rocking the boat.

3. Check the Climate
Ask yourself regularly:
- Is the team feeling burned out?
- Are we running too cold on communication?
- Do we have balance in energy and engagement?

If not, it’s time to open a window or adjust the heat—metaphorically speaking, of course.

4. Lead Like Goldilocks
Find the just right leadership balance. Be warm, but not too soft. Be bold, but not overbearing. Be flexible, but not a pushover. You don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to pay attention to how people feel—and how your leadership affects their temperature.

Final Thought: Be the Thermostat, Not the Thermometer

A thermometer just reflects the temperature. A thermostat sets it.

You, as a leader, have the power to adjust the atmosphere of your team. So the next time things feel “too cold” or “too hot,” step back, take a deep breath, and ask yourself what kind of environment you want to create.

And if anyone asks why you’re doing what you’re doing, just smile and say, “Because I’m Goldilocks, and I know how to find ‘just right.’”

If you need help with your team’s temperature, I’d love to chat with you about how I can help!