The Leadership Mirror

When was the last time you looked in a mirror?

Most of us do it every day.

We check our hair. Straighten our clothes. Make sure everything looks presentable before heading out the door.

But there is another mirror many leaders rarely look into.

The leadership mirror.

Here's the question:

What do people experience when they experience you?

That can be an uncomfortable question.

Many leaders spend time thinking about their intentions.

But the people around us experience our actions.

You may intend to be helpful.

Others may experience micromanagement.

You may intend to be efficient.

Others may experience impatience.

You may intend to solve problems quickly.

Others may feel unheard.

The gap between intention and impact is where leadership growth happens.

One of the most valuable things a leader can do is become more self-aware.

Unfortunately, self-awareness doesn't happen automatically.

It requires reflection.

It requires feedback.

And sometimes it requires looking honestly at ourselves in ways we'd rather avoid.

I often encourage leaders to ask trusted team members, peers, or mentors questions such as:

• What is it like to work with me?

• What do I do that helps the team succeed?

• What could I do differently?

• What strengths do you see in me?

• Where might I unintentionally create challenges for others?

The answers are often revealing.

Not because we're bad leaders, but because every leader has blind spots.

One of the reasons I love CliftonStrengths so much is that it gives leaders a language to better understand themselves.

For example, someone with strong Achiever talents may bring incredible productivity and drive to a team. That's the balcony.

The basement version might be creating unrealistic expectations for themselves or others.

Someone with strong Harmony may help teams navigate conflict and find common ground. That's the balcony.

The basement may be avoiding difficult conversations that need to happen.

The truth is that every strength has both a balcony and a basement.

Every talent has ways it can help us and ways it can trip us up.

The more aware we become of our natural patterns, the more intentional we can be about leading from our balconies rather than our basements.

That's why self-awareness is not a one-time exercise.

It's a lifelong leadership practice.

Every leader leaves an imprint.

You bring energy into every meeting.

You influence culture with every conversation.

You shape the experience of your team whether you realize it or not.

The question is: What experience are you creating?

If your team described your leadership in three words, what would they say?

Would those words match the leader you hope to be?

The best leaders I know aren't perfect.

They are simply willing to keep looking in the mirror, learning, growing, and making adjustments along the way.

Because leadership isn't about becoming someone else.

It's about becoming the best version of who you already are.

At Starfish Partnerships, I work with leaders and teams to increase self-awareness through coaching, CliftonStrengths, and leadership development. Sometimes the most powerful growth begins when we take a closer look in the mirror and learn how to spend more time in our balconies and less time in our basements.